A word about ulpan

There is no better word to describe ulpan than balagan. It’s like being in kindergarten, a soap opera, and a comedy routine all at the same time. I understand now how people survive the 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, 5 month Hebrew class – it’s because ulpan is a hilarious scene. My teacher doesn’t just teach us Hebrew, she puts on a show for us. Probably she might have been an actress in a different lifetime. She uses all tactics possible to keep us engaged in the Hebrew lesson, hour after endless hour. I don’t know if it’s just our teacher or if all of the teachers are like her (I certainly hope so because I’m moving into a higher level class next week, and I couldn’t bear to be with a teacher less entertaining than my current one!) Our teacher is addicted to chocolate and stuffs her face with it all day long. It’s probably how she gets all her energy. She sniffs empty chocolate wrappers and whiteboard markers and takes food from people’s desks without asking. For no reason at all she’ll open the window and stick her head out or momentarily leave the classroom and come back. She’s always playing tricks on people and making inappropriate jokes to get us to laugh. Humor and silliness are definitely her approach to getting us to learn Hebrew. If we want to understand why everyone is laughing, we have no other choice! It’s the best motivation. Also, it’s good because learning Hebrew can be so hard and frustrating and exhausting, that ultimately there is nothing else you can do but laugh. Or cry, which happens from time to time. Or fall asleep, which is a daily struggle for all of us. No one survives a day in ulpan without coffee. Sometimes a student will fall asleep in class and my teacher will throw a paper airplane at them or send them out to buy her a coffee. She’s one of the best teachers I’ve ever had; we all love and adore her.
Every individual in my class lends a certain stock character to the group dynamic. There are about 25 of us, from all over the world – France, Argentina, Uzbekistan, Canada, Belgium, Russia, Greece, etc – roughly between the ages of 20-40. It’s a conglomeration of personalities in a setting that would make anyone turn ADD. My friend Aliza pointed out that Israel should make a TV series about ulpan and she’s right, it would be the funniest show on television. But back to the group dynamic – so we have the Frenchies (it seems that half the Parisian Jewish population up and transplanted to Ulpan Gordon, but anyway) who speak Hebrew with such thick accents that if I’m not paying close attention it sounds like they’re speaking French. (due to all the translating going on I’m actually learning quite a bit of French simultaneously). There is a Belgian pothead in my class who hides joints in the bushes outsides ulpan and gets high during the breaks (I only discovered this when I found him searching anxiously through the bushes one day and I asked him why; his joint had gone missing into nature); there is the apathetic Canadian who comes to class exactly one hour late every day and endures word-for-word the same scolding every morning; there is a Russian girl who is always randomly laughing and most of the time no one really knows why; and of course the American party boy who comes into class 20 minutes before the end of the day wearing shorts, a tank top, sunglasses and sun hat, holding a fresh fruit juice, strolling in like a movie star. The teacher shouts that she would kill him except that he’s going into the army to defend and protect her so she won’t say anything. Oh, the army boys get away with everything…
I'm definitely the quiet one in the class. When I do speak, my teacher yells at me to speak louder. We're basically encouraged to yell. There's no such thing as "classroom voices" in Israel! Sometimes my teacher raises such a commotion in the classroom that even she gets overwhelmed and starts screaming for quiet, when in fact she's the only one really making all the noise! It's quite amusing.
There is really no way to illustrate the extent of ridiculousness in my class. Literally, we laugh all day long. I never know what trick my teacher is going to pull out of her sleeve next. She is something special.

(Oh and by the way, we’re actually learning Hebrew too) :-)

Aaron's visit

My dear younger brother Aaron came for a whirlwind 48 hour visit which was so fun it felt like he was here for 4 days. Him and his friend Jason concluded their vacation in Greece with an extended "layover" in Tel Aviv to visit me and have some fun in the holy land. It made me so happy to see him, but also sad because it really hit me how hard it is to be so far away from my family. I love having my brother around. But I try to focus on the positive; I'm fortunate to have such a wonderful brother and that he supports my aliyah and comes to visit me and we have such a great time together. Not everyone who makes aliyah is so lucky.
Of all the things Aaron and Jason loved about Tel Aviv, I have no doubt that the Tel Aviv women had the strongest impression on them of all. They couldn't get over the fact that all the women here are Jewish, and how beautiful they are! After struggling to find a Jewish girl their whole lives in the diaspora, going out in Tel Aviv is like a child's visit to the willy wonka chocolate factory. They were simply in heaven! I am the same way; I absolutely love the fact that every guy I talk to here I could potentially date (in terms of the religion issue.) It's such an exciting, freeing feeling. The world is your oyster! Well, Tel Aviv certainly was for Aaron and Jason for 2 long, wonderful days. :-)
It was a little heartbreaking to see them go but I felt happy at the same time, because we had such a great time together. I wouldn't have done a single thing differently. Love you Aaron!

My first poem in Hebrew! so proud of myself :-)

שיר על עלייה

שלום אני עולה חדשה
אני בישראל פחות משנה
כל איש ברחוב שואל אותי למה
עלייתי לארץ איפה אין לי משפחה
האמת בגלל היא מקום מיוחדת
הלב שלי פה, פה אני מרגישה מושלמת
כן אני מתגעגעת אל אמריקה
אבל המזג אוויר אין השוואה
אני מאחלת שיום אחד יהיו
כל האנשים אהובים שלי גם פה
כי זאת האדמה לכל היהודים
אין מקום יותר טוב אנחנו יודעים

More gay pride

Gay Pride Parade - Tel Aviv June 12

Layla Lavan (white night) celebrating Tel Aviv

In my new home!

I write this first blog post from my new apartment and I couldn't be happier :-)
I'm living now with 2 girls, one American-Israeli and one Belgian-Israeli, in a gorgeous duplex in the center of Tel Aviv, 2 minutes from the beach. (pictures to come once it's all set up!) we have a view of the ocean from our balconies (one on each floor) and watched the sun set over the sea last night from the comfort of our home. Living here feels too good to be true.
In talking to my sister Rachel this week, she pointed something out to me that's really amazing and I hadn't quite formulated for myself yet - I am like an emissary of Israel to so many diaspora Jews. Between all the friends from different stages of my life, family friends, and random acquaintances, for many people I am the only person they know who lives in Israel. In just a month here I've gotten several messages from people wanting to know if they can visit me or if I can help them visit Israel. It's nice to know that I can be like a port of support for so many Jews who don't have a strong connection to Israel themselves. I have a feeling my apartment is going to be like an international hostel! But it's a wonderful thing.
My friend Zeev also made an interesting insight to me this week - when we look at the past 2,000 years of history and under what circumstances Jews moved to Israel, the vast majority of Jews came to Israel as a safe haven from persecution. The number of Jews who actually chose to leave a safer "better life" (such as America) to come struggle in Israel for no reason other than that it's the Jewish homeland, is an extremely small number. I'm like a "statistical anomaly" Zeev said. And it's true - after 2,000 years of praying to God to be able to return to Israel, it's like a metaphorical slap in God's face to not follow up on our prayers. I don't know how so many religious Jews in the diaspora justify it to themselves. But, we all can make Israel stronger in our own way.
When I was out buying paint 2 days ago for my apartment, there was a man standing beside the salesman staring at me while I was explaining what I needed in broken Hebrew. He was making me very uncomfortable. After the salesman walked away he asked me where I was from. I said Boston. He said, what are you doing in Israel? I said, I made aliyah! He responded, why? I said, "because I'm Jewish, this is my home!" and he responded, "no, not exactly." I was caught off guard - my stomach just went cold - and my friend pulled me aside and told me he was Arab. I would have responded to his last comment but the moment had passed. It made me sad though. Especially when I walked outside and I saw a band set up on the street playing music and people dancing, and a huge banner behind them read: "Rotzim Shalom". (We want peace). It seems like it's impossible to get that message across sometimes.
Anyway - off now to a Shabbat lunch and then the beach.
Shabbat Shalom!